Your G.P. has referred you to the 'Sanctuary
Room Clinic' so that you can be treated for the distressing ailment known as Erectus Rigor-Mortis.Dr.Finger
checks your medical notes and then asks you to strip down to your briefs so that he can proceed to examine you.
He starts
by listening to your chest and back with his stethoscope.He then tests your reaction to his hands on your buttocks
and groin.Dr.Finger then asks you to remove your briefs so he can examine you more intimately.He has to now probe your
anus to feel your prostate gland, so he puts on a pair of surgical gloves and lubricates a finger.you bend
over so the Doctor can probe you and note your reactions.
It is obvious that you are now suffering from acute Erectus
Rigor-Mortis but the good Doctor offers to cure you with his own unique treatment.To put you at your ease the Doctor invites
you to remove his surgical gown to reveal that he also sometimes suffers from Erectus Rigor-Mortis and that it is nothing
to be ashamed of.
Doctor/Patient confidentiality prevents a full description of what happens next but be assured that
all patients leave the clinic fully cured.
If your symptons are extreme you may benefit from the added expertise of Nurse
Irongrip who has her own particular way of treating Erectus Rigor-Mortis.She will certainly check your pulse,
but not neccessarily the one in your wrist.
The up to one hour medical examination with Dr.Finger is £120.
To include the services of Nurse Irongrip as well, the fee is £200.
You can call the good doctor on
01438 723921 Mon to Fri.
 
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